FORGIVEN TUATARA bursts forth from his cocoon! FORGIVEN TUATARA has evolved into TUATARMOTH!

TUATARMOTH’s bond with Dakota has grown stronger! Dakota gains 0.15625 EXP.

PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.

Current paths are WEST back to the mine and EAST to the flower valley.

God-Queen Dakota reaches h–

Huh? Who’s– oh, hi. What’re YOU doing in here?

Sorry, what’re you–?

Hey–

Hey, hold on, stop! Stop that! No, that’s part of the UI, put that down, you can’t–

…

Uh, I mean–

Congratulations! God-Queen Dakota has leveled up to LEVEL 2!

Level Up!

Dakota’s HP and Mana maximums increase, and she gains a new feature: ACTION SURGE! Dakota can now do the top 2 commented actions at once rather than just the top 1.

PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.

Current paths are WEST back to the mine and EAST to the flower valley.

God-Queen Dakota and her party emerge into the flower valley with a PICNIC BASKET.

PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH.

God-Queen Dakota is approached by ODDLY TALL DWARF. ODDLY TALL DWARF introduces themself and asks for some food. Dakota invites ODDLY TALL DWARF to join the picnic.

PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG finishes digesting! PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG evolves into SLIGHTLY BIGGER PRINCE SLIME and gains +1 SLIME OOZE.

SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY and TUATARMOTH feed x1 WHOLE TREE to SLIGHTLY BIGGER PRINCE SLIME. SLIGHTLY BIGGER PRINCE SLIME has evolved from SLIGHTLY BIGGER PRINCE SLIME to PRINCE SLIME ft. TREE.

Dakota’s bond with PRINCE SLIME ft. TREE has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH. Current combat targets are ODDLY TALL DWARF.

Guzzling down the tree, PRINCE SLIME ft. TREE evolves into KING SLIME ft. TREE!

Dakota’s bond with KING SLIME ft. TREE has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.

Dakota offers the ODDLY TALL DWARF a meal. Dakota gains the HOSPITABLE attribute and gains 5 EXP.

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH. Current combat targets are ODDLY TALL DWARF.

Dakota gains attribute: [WATCHFUL EYE: Can no longer lose track of party members, any actual canonical party member disappearance will be noted in the text]. Dakota gains 5 EXP.

A coronation is held! KING SLIME ft. TREE evolves into OFFICIAL KING SLIME ft. TREE.

Dakota’s bond with OFFICIAL KING SLIME ft. TREE has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH. Current combat targets are ODDLY TALL DWARF.

God-Queen Dakota questions the ODDLY TALL DWARF about their ODDLY SPECIFIC T-SHIRT. The ODDLY TALL DWARF stammers some kind of hasty and awkward response.

Dakota requires a bond with ODDLY TALL DWARF before asking personal questions!
ODDLY TALL DWARF is not yet part of Dakota’s party, and thus Dakota has no bond with them!

HUMBLE WOODSMAN PHD works on upgrading weapons.

Dakota has exchanged x1 FRESHLY-HONED CUTLASS for x1 SPIFFY CUTLASS.
Dakota has exchanged x1 STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING for x1 SPIFFY STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING.
TUATARMOTH has exchanged x1 TUATARA CRIME SYNDICATE REVOLVER for x1 SPIFFY REVOLVER.

HUMBLE WOODSMAN PHD has leveled up into HUMBLE TRADESMAN and has gained attribute: [JACK OF ALL TRADES: Can now perform any required trade].

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH. Current combat targets are ODDLY TALL DWARF.

God-Queen Dakota eats the HAM whole. Does it in one bite, too. Without chewing. That wasn’t even part of the prompt. How’d she do that? Dakota gains 10 EXP.

Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the ODDLY TALL DWARF. She now has x2 CREATURE COMPANION and x3 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP.

Current paths are WEST back to the spider cave, EAST, and NORTH.

As the party heads north to the Polluting Megacorporation, Dakota pulls an old trOH MY GOD IS THAT A DRAGON?

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, and NORTH to the Polluting Megacorporation. Current combat targets are HUGE JUST-OFFSCREEN DRAGON.

ODDLY TALL DWARF uses move: “NEW-SAGE-SAYS-WHAT” on God-Queen Dakota.

Move: “NEW-SAGE-SAYS-WHAT” hits!

Critical hit!

ODDLY TALL DWARF loses attribute: [HORRIBLY BESET BY INCOMPREHENSIBLE VISIONS]!

Dakota gains attribute: [HORRIBLY BESET BY INCOMPREHENSIBLE VISIONS]!

ODDLY TALL DWARF has evolved into ODDLY TALL “DWARF”(?)!

God-Queen Dakota has evolved into All-Knowing Great Sage Dakota, All Cower Before Her Knowledge and Wisdom! Dakota has gained 5 EXP.

Dakota’s bond with ODDLY TALL “DWARF”(?) has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, and NORTH to the Polluting Megacorporation. Current combat targets are REGULAR-SIZED STINKY DRAGON.

ODDLY TALL “DWARF”(?) reveals themself to be FORMER GREAT SAGE and gives a BRIEF SUMMARY OF LORE.

Great Sage Queen Dakota siezes control of POLLUTING MEGACORPORATION and reorganises it into ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY WORKER COOPERATIVE! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are REGULAR-SIZED STINKY DRAGON.

Great Sage Queen Dakota and her party give REGULAR-SIZED STINKY DRAGON a bath. REGULAR-SIZED STINKY DRAGON evolves into REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON. Dakota gains no EXP for non-party creature evolutions, but it’s a nice gesture nonetheless.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Dakota, THE FAIR LADY is sending MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE out in search of the new great sage’s party.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON.

Dakota gains attribute: [DIVINE DECISION: Once per week, Dakota can perform one additional action, as chosen by the artist (me!)].

Divine Decision! The REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON is grateful to Great Sage Queen Dakota for giving it a bath. Dakota, having had a sage vision, invites the REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON to join the party.

Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON. She now has x3 CREATURE COMPANION and x3 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP.

Turning around, Dakota sees an Ominous Tower.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Tower, and NORTH back to the worker co-op.

Dakota checks her inventory.

• x1 SPIFFY CUTLASS Equipped
• x1 SPIFFY STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING Equipped
• x1 COOL SAGE ROBES Equipped
• x1 SPAULDER
• x1 QUEENLY ARMOUR
• x1 DOCUMENT OF OFFICIAL OWNERSHIP OF TOWN (EMANNWOT)
• x1 NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES

She does not currently have any ELIXIR OF THE GREAT SAGE NETSUA.

OFFICIAL KING SLIME ft. TREE finishes digesting! OFFICIAL KING SLIME ft. TREE evolves into HIS MAJESTY SLIME IV THE TREE-EATER and gains +1 SLIME OOZE.

HUMBLE TRADESMAN and REGULAR-SIZED SLIGHTLY LESS STINKY DRAGON feed x1 WHOLE TREE to HIS MAJESTY SLIME IV THE TREE-EATER.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Tower, and NORTH back to the worker co-op.

Great Sage Queen Dakota asks FORMER GREAT SAGE about the Secret Elixir of the Great Sage Netsua, the finding of which is the primary goal of this entire adventure.

FORMER GREAT SAGE gives an UNHELPFUL ANSWER.

Dakota has gained x1 FACIAL TWITCH!

SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY gifts x1 NICE HOT CHOCOLATE to MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE. SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY’s affinity score with MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE has increased by 1 point.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Tower, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE.

HUMBLE TRADESMAN gifts x1 BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS to MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE. HUMBLE TRADESMAN ‘s affinity score with MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE has increased by 1 point.

Nothing else of note occurs.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Tower, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE.

Great Sage Queen Dakota and FORMER GREAT SAGE discuss the situation.

Nothing else of note occurs.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Tower, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE.

In a fit of frustration, Great Sage Queen Dakota casually throws aside a small rock.

Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARDS!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE CHIEF TORTURER!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE TORTURER’S ASSISTANT!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE ELITE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE ELITE GUARD!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE TOURIST!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE TOURIST!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE TOURIST!
Dakota has critically wounded EMPIRE OF MALICE JANITOR!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE ACCOUNTANT!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE ACCOUNTANT!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE INTERN!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE INTERN!
Dakota has defeated EMPIRE OF MALICE INTERN!
Dakota has defeated PERSONAL BODYGUARD OF THE FAIR LADY!
Dakota has defeated PERSONAL BODYGUARD OF THE FAIR LADY!
Dakota has critically wounded THE FAIR LADY OF STEEL AND SONG!

Dakota gains 5 EXP.

HUMBLE TRADESMAN and SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY invite MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE to cosplay. HUMBLE TRADESMAN and SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY’s affinity scores with MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE have each increased by 1 point.

SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY has gained x2 COSTUME OF THE LOVERS.

SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY has gifted x1 COSTUME OF THE LOVERS to MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE.

Dakota is beset by visions.

Current paths are SOUTH back to the picnic area, SOUTHWEST back to the spider cave, NORTHEAST to the Ominous Ruins, and NORTH back to the worker co-op. Current combat targets are MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE.

FORMER GREAT SAGE remembers where–!

Ah. Well that’s a problem.

MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE fixes the EXP bug, and Great Sage Queen Dakota gains 110 more EXP from the fallen tower.

Congratulations! Great Sage Queen Dakota has leveled up to LEVEL 3–

uh–

Congratulations! Great Sage Queen Dakota has leveled up to LEVEL 4!