Dakota Adventure Archive
Page 4
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SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY uses move: “TELEPORT!”
The party, along with the attacking members of the Tuatara mafia, the FRIENDLY CASHIER, and the RADICAL MASCOT are all transported back to the Spider Cave.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.
Current paths are ????, ????, and ????. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY CASHIER, RADICAL MASCOT, TUATARA MAFIOSO, TUATARA THUG, TUATARA GOON, and TUATARA RUFFIAN.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota finds the lightswitch and flicks it on. The cavern is now lit!
Some other things happen offscreen.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER, SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT, and SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota prepares for a fight!
SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR readies its EPIC COMBAT POSE!
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER, SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT, and SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota uses move: “BREAK IT DOWN YO”!
Critical success! Move: “BREAK IT DOWN YO” is so radical that it grants everyone watching 10 bonus HP.
SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR uses move: “PERFECT DISGUISE”!
× Move Interruption! ×
Divine Decision! FAIR PRIESTESS uses move: “ULTIMATE DOOM LASER”!
FAIR PRIESTESS’s move: “ULTIMATE DOOM LASER” hits!
SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR has been defeated! Dakota gains 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 8 extra EXP.
SUPER ULTRA TUATARA FUSION WARRIOR has evolved into LONELY TUATARA GOON.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER, SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT, and LONELY TUATARA GOON.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota and FAIR PRIESTESS go off on their date! It’s lovely and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to be suspicious of the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT.
On the way, the excitement causes Dakota to accidentally send off a spell that transforms LONELY TUATARA GOON into LONELY TUATARA BROTHER!
PRINCE TUATARA and LONELY TUATARA BROTHER see each other for the first time in many years…
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT, WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER, SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT, and LONELY TUATARA BROTHER.
PRINCE TUATARA and LONELY TUATARA BROTHER reminisce about their lives.
LONELY TUATARA BROTHER has evolved into TUATARA BROTHER!
Nothing else of note happens.
⚠ Notice: Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota’s party is now missing a member.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT, WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER, SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT, TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS, and TUATARA BROTHER.
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER. She now has x3 CREATURE COMPANION and x6 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 9 extra EXP.
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the SCARRED RADICAL MASCOT. She now has x4 CREATURE COMPANION and x6 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 10 extra EXP.
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the TUATARA BROTHER. She now has x5 CREATURE COMPANION and x6 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 11 extra EXP.
Dakota does not successfully befriend the TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota and FAIR PRIESTESS have a lovely dinner together in which they discuss their favourite upcoming indie turn-based dice-building single-player RPG, Spellsided! They both agree that they loved the demo and are very excited for the release.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, SOUTHWEST back to the cave (for Dakota), NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT (for the rest of the party), WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
SHADOW ASSASSIN sneaks past the battle to discover the HUMBLE TRADESMAN having a lovely (Divine Decision!) tea party with the MOTHER OF BATKIND.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, SOUTHWEST back to the cave (for Dakota), NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT (for the rest of the party), WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS and MOTHER OF BATKIND.
HUMBLE TRADESMAN gives a BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE PAST FEW EPISODES.
MOTHER OF BATKIND wonders what’s in her tea.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, SOUTHWEST back to the cave (for Dakota), NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT (for the rest of the party), WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS and MOTHER OF BATKIND.
Far away in some mysterious location, LEGGY BURGER plots and schemes.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.
Current paths are EAST to the corpse of the GIANT PELICAN MONSTER, SOUTHWEST back to the cave (for Dakota), NORTHEAST to the ABRUPTLY-APPEARING CAVE RESTAURANT (for the rest of the party), WEST, SOUTH to the Fountain of Tall, and NORTHWEST into the YMCA building. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS and MOTHER OF BATKIND.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota and her team travel WEST to attempt to discover That Which Must Never Be Known, and encounter the LEGGY BURGER.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are LEGGY BURGER.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota and HUMBLE TRADESMAN are stalled in their pursuit by a great mystery.
LEGGY BURGER tries to escape, but SPIDER-MANAGER-THINGY grows tired of its shenanigans and eats it. Unfortunately, it turns out that LEGGY BURGER and SINGING SPACE BREAD are old chums from theatre!
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: -1. Error! The artist forgot that today was DIVINE DECISION. Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are LEGGY BURGER.
Divine Decision! SPIDER-MANAGER-THINGY goes to the doctor, HUMBLE TRADESMAN, and is informed that the SINGING SPACE BREAD and LEGGY BURGER have teleported out of her stomach.
SPIDER-MANAGER-THINGY has gained attribute: [INNATE TELEPORTATION POWERS: Can teleport anywhere without the need for any exterior power or resource].
FORMER GREAT SAGE tries to give another BRIEF SUMMARY OF LORE but is interrupted by FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER’s move: “FRYING PAN AVALANCHE”.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST.
The TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS make a reappearance and steal FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER’s frying pans.
TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS initiate EVENT: PANCAKE-FLIPPING COMPETITION!
SPIDER-MANGER-THINGY does some paperwork. Don’t worry about it.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
SLIMEKOTA grants a boon to BAT №4837! BAT №4837 has evolved into THE CHOSEN BAT!
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended THE CHOSEN BAT. She now has x6 CREATURE COMPANION and x6 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 12 extra EXP.
Dakota and her party start eating pancakes. Dakota does that thing with her mouth again and it’s deeply disquieting.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota asks for, and learns, all the names of her party members!
Dakota’s bond with HUMBLE TRADESMAN, SPIDER-MANAGER-THINGY, FAIR PRIESTESS, and all her other party members has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 20 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 12 extra EXP.
THE CHOSEN BAT makes some adorable little peep-peep noises. Awww.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
THE CHOSEN BAT continues making adorable little peep-peep noises. SPIDER-MANAGER-THINGY helpfully translates for us! Aw, that’s nice.
?%%_Divine Decision Skip-Multiplication Glitch accomplished! By clipping into the map with a frame-perfect dodge and backwards long-jumping into the Divine Decision activation entity’s mesh collision hitbox, the previous episode’s missed Divine Decision gets added into the next Divine Decision.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision (+1) countdown: 3.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.
FRIENDLY BATTLE-CASHIER tries to translate. It doesn’t help.
Congratulations! Great Sage Queen Dakota has leveled up to LEVEL 5–
…huh. Y’know, someone should really be keeping a closer eye on that EXP bar.
Congratulations! Great Sage Queen Dakota has leveled up to LEVEL 6!
Dakota’s HP and Mana maximums increase, and she gains a new feature: PARTIAL RAILROADING! The DM can now add his own elements every five or so episodes. I could already do this, so I’m not 100% sure what this changes.
Level Up!
Dakota’s HP and Mana maximums increase, and she gains a new feature: KNOW THY LANGUAGES! Dakota can now understand any language but only in Early Modern English.
Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision (+1) countdown: 2.
Current paths are EAST back to the cave and WEST. Current combat targets are TEN THOUSAND F***ING BATS.