Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota receives a DIRE WARNING from THE CHOSEN BAT and takes the party west!

Exiting the LEGGY BURGER’s cavern dwelling, Dakota and her party find themselves in northern Emannwot, near the construction site of the future revamped tax office.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision (+1) countdown: 1.

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest.

Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota takes her party far to the west, traversing fields and plains, mountains and rivers, crossing deserts and vast oceans alike, voyaging through the caverns of Elo Hkrad and over the frozen hills of Niatnuo M’dloc, eventually rounding the world entirely and finding herself back in Emannwot but coming from the other direction.

The beast they’d been warned of had apparently exited the spider cave shortly after they had and was just kinda hanging out in town. Well, so much for avoiding the beast.

PEEP PEEP!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision (+1) countdown: 0! Divine Decision +1 will activate next turn!

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest.

The GREAT BEAST is being harassed by a figure from Great Sage Queen Dakota’s past — that’s right, her old DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE! The DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE is being quite unkind to the GREAT BEAST.

Divine Decision! HUMBLE TRADESMAN gifts the GREAT BEAST x1 STONE OF FRIENDSHIP!

Bonus Divine Decision! The GREAT BEAST is so tall that its true height extends beyond the bounds of the viewscreen!

MMS is also here.

PEEP PEEP!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest. Current combat targets are GREAT BEAST and DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

HUMBLE TRADESMAN’s affinity score with the GREAT BEAST has increased by 1 point.

Great Prophesied Queen Dakota has arrested the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE for felony tax evasion! Turns out that it’s been trying to abuse loopholes that Dakota closed when she revamped the tax office back in episode 7.

PEEP PEEP!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest. Current combat targets are GREAT BEAST and DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota decides to make use of some of her Vision Points, and discovers that she has exactly 69 of them. What should she do with her 69 vision points?

Also, the GREAT BEAST tells Dakota about the circumstances that led up to this moment.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest. Current combat targets are GREAT BEAST and DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota uses her sagely powers to turn the GREAT BEAST into the PRETTY GOOD WEREBEAR.

• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [NICE: Accumulate 69 Vision Points without spending them.]

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.

Current paths are NORTH to the construction site, WEST to the town, EAST back the LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the forest. Current combat targets are GREAT BEAST and DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Divine Decision! Dakota gets taller.

• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [FINALLY: Dakota becomes taller.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [WHERE AM I?: Start the main quest in the woods.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [SOMETHING TO DO, I GUESS: Begin a quest.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [BLUE ELEPHANT: Obtain an achievement.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [CUT BY A LASS: Equip a cutlass.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [NOT A PAULDRON: Equip a spaulder.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [BABY STEPS: Obtain your first level.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [POOR TREE: Cut down a tree to get a log.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [BATTLE-WEARY: Damage a weapon.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [EXPERIENCED: Gain some EXP.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [AT LAST, A FIGHT!: Encounter your first enemy.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [MAKE PARTIES, NOT WAR: Increase your party size.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [ANIMAL MAGIC!: Gain a creature companion.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [USE KEY ON DOOR: Use an object.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [DARWIN WOULD BE PROUD: Evolve a party member.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [NOT THAT KIND OF BONDAGE: Increase your bond with a party member.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [THE ONLY CERTAINTIES IN LIFE: Do some taxes.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [BUT NOT THAT CERTAIN: Forge tax paperwork.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [BASED AF: Target a megacorporation.]
• Dakota has gotten an achievement! [DOESN’T COUNT AS WAR IF IT’S OVER FAST ENOUGH: Conquer a city.]
• (+580 more…)

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.

Current paths are NORTH to the tiny construction site, WEST to the tiny town, EAST back the tiny LEGGY BURGER’s home, and SOUTHEAST to the tiny forest. Current combat targets are the tiny PRETTY GOOD WEREBEAR and tiny DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

This is Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota. She is on a grand adventure.

She is LEVEL 6, with full HP and MANA, and is equipped with x1 FLAMING EXP BAR SWORD and x1 SPIFFY STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING.

She is on the way back to her village to bring them the Secret Elixir of the Great Sage Netsua.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.

Current paths are WEST and EAST.

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota spends 30 Vision Points to attain attribute: [GIANTISH BLOOD: Can switch between giantish form and humanoid form at will].

FAIR PRIESTESS has gained a new status effect: BONKED!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.

Current paths are WEST and EAST.

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota uses her attribute: [GIANTISH BLOOD] to return to normal size.

Well.

Y’know. Normal-ish size.

Dakota uses move: “WORLD’S WETTEST CUP” {Modification: THREAT} on DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Move: “WORLD’S WETTEST CUP” {Modification: THREAT} hits!

Critical hit!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.

Current paths are WEST and EAST. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Yum, lunch!

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.

Current paths are WEST and EAST. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

The inherent self-contradiction of Dakota becoming shorter cracks through reality itself and Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota and her party are flung backward in time.

FAIR PRIESTESS has attained attribute: [LIGHTER: can produce an incy tiny lil flame].

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.

Current paths are WEST and EAST. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE and LEVEL ONE DAKOTA.

FAIR PRIESTESS has evolved into FIRE PRIESTESS!

LEVEL ONE DAKOTA decides that she doesn’t want to muck around with time travel for fear of the TIME HIJINX, so she goes off to cut down a tree and befriend a nearby ORANGE SLIME.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.

Current paths are WEST and EAST. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE, ORANGE SLIME, and LEVEL ONE DAKOTA.

[cool montage music]

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.

Current paths are WEST and EAST. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota travels EAST and arrives back in her hometown of Egal Livtrats.

Divine Decision! Upon arriving in town, the party bumps into PRETTY GOOD WEREBEAR and asks him to join the party.

Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended PRETTY GOOD WEREBEAR. She now has x7 CREATURE COMPANION and x6 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP. Power of Friendship! Dakota gains 13 extra EXP.

Current paths are WEST back to the forest and EAST to Dakota’s sister’s house. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE.

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota travels EAST to her sister’s house to return the elixir and finally save the—

Uh.

Never mind, she walks past her sister’s house and to her parents’ house, where she introduces them to her new girlfriend. That’s also fine.

Dakota’s parents approve of the FIRE PRIESTESS!

Dakota also enters the Egal Fishing Contest. Travelling SOUTH to the Egal Docks, she encounters the LEGGY BURGER.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.

Current paths are NORTH back to Central Egal, NORTHWEST to Dakota’s sister’s house, and SOUTH into the wet. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE and LEGGY BURGER.

WINTER SLIME GOD, SPRING SLIME GOD, and SUMMER SLIME GOD initiate EVENT: FISHING CONTEST!

LEGGY BURGER casts its line!
Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota casts her line!
DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE casts its line!

LEGGY BURGER is waiting for a catch…
Dakota is waiting for a catch…
DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE is waiting for a catch…

• LEGGY BURGER has made a catch!
  • LEGGY BURGER has caught a SACABAMBASPIS and has gained:
    • 12 FISH POINTS
    • 10 SPEED POINTS
    • 15 STYLE POINTS
    • 3 CLASSIC POINTS
    • 20 SPECIAL POINTS (TIME-TYPE)

• Dakota has made a catch!
  • Dakota has caught a BASS and has gained:
    • 15 FISH POINTS
    • 5 SPEED POINTS
    • 5 STYLE POINTS
    • 15 CLASSIC POINTS
    • 20 SPECIAL POINTS (GREEN-TYPE)

• DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE has made a catch!
  • DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE has caught a NEON TETRA and has gained:
    • 15 FISH POINTS
    • 0 SPEED POINTS
    • 2 STYLE POINTS
    • 5 CLASSIC POINTS
    • 5 SPECIAL POINTS (USELESS-TYPE)

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 1.

Current paths are NORTH back to Central Egal, NORTHWEST to Dakota’s sister’s house, and SOUTH into the wet. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE, LEGGY BURGER, WINTER SLIME GOD, SPRING SLIME GOD, and SUMMER SLIME GOD.

All other types of fish points are discarded and the winner of the FISHING CONTEST is determined by CUTE POINTS.

• Sacabambaspis: 3 CUTE POINTS
• Bass: 3 CUTE POINTS
• Neon Tetra: 15 CUTE POINTS

DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE wins the FISHING CONTEST!

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota has unlocked the FISHING MINIGAME!

Dakota has gotten an achievement! [RIGHT-ANGLED: Unlock the “Fishing” minigame.]

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 0! Divine Decision will activate next turn.

Current paths are NORTH back to Central Egal, NORTHWEST to Dakota’s sister’s house, and SOUTH into the wet. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE, LEGGY BURGER, WINTER SLIME GOD, SPRING SLIME GOD, and SUMMER SLIME GOD.

In this, the 99th episode of Dakota Adventure, Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota receives a kiss from the FIRE PRIESTESS.

Nothing else of note happens.

…are we forgetting something?

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 3.

Current paths are NORTH back to Central Egal, NORTHWEST to Dakota’s sister’s house, and SOUTH into the wet. Current combat targets are the DINING & DECORATIONS TABLE, LEGGY BURGER, WINTER SLIME GOD, SPRING SLIME GOD, SUMMER SLIME GOD, and DAKOTA’S SISTER.

Gigantic Prophesied Sage Queen Dakota delivers x1 ELIXIR OF THE GREAT SAGE NETSUA to DAKOTA’S SISTER!

QUEST COMPLETE! “Return the Sage’s Elixir to Dakota’s Village”.
NEW QUEST: “Find Something Else to Do”.

Dakota receives a vision and gains +2 Vision Points. Divine Decision countdown: 2.

Current paths are NORTH back to Central Egal, NORTHWEST to Dakota’s sister’s house, and SOUTH into the wet. Current combat targets are DAKOTA’S SISTER and literally every other NPC encountered in the past 100 episodes.