Dakota Adventure Archive
Page 1
Episodes 1-19
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This is an archive of the Dakota Adventure series, which is uploaded, at time of writing, on weekdays on my YouTube Community tab. This page exists by popular request, and is presented for ease of reading and catching up, since the Community tab on YouTube is really badly designed.
In my defence, I fully planned this “series” to last exactly one (1) week, and would never have been able to predict it going on for the literal months that it has.
Every episode of Dakota Adventure has the primary plot developments determined by the most-liked comment on the previous episode. Each entry in this archive contains the text of the installment, a link to the original post, and the installment’s image(s), but doesn’t include the “previously” link or the “what should she do next” call of action at the end, for obvious reasons.
Click on each image thumbnail for full-size.
This is DAKOTA. She is on a grand adventure.
She is LEVEL 1, with full HP and MANA, and is equipped with x1 CUTLASS and x1 SPAULDER.
She has been sent from her village to find the Secret Elixir of the Great Sage Netsua.
Current paths are WEST and EAST.
Congratulations! Dakota now has x1 LARGE HARDWOOD LOG and has gained 10 EXP. She has also exchanged x1 CUTLASS for x1 SIGNIFICANTLY LESS SHARP CUTLASS.
Current paths are WEST and EAST.
Dakota approaches an ORANGE SLIME. The ORANGE SLIME is cautious and slow-moving. Dakota kneels down and pats it on its head-approximating pseudopod. It has the approximate smell and consistency of PEANUT BUTTER.
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended an ORANGE SLIME. She now has x1 CREATURE COMPANION and has gained 10 EXP.
Current paths are WEST and EAST.
Dakota feeds x1 LARGE HARDWOOD LOG to the ORANGE SLIME. ORANGE SLIME has evolved from ORANGE SLIME to ORANGE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG.
Dakota’s bond with ORANGE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.
Current paths are WEST and EAST.
Dakota forges her own TAX DOCUMENTATION so that it appears to be from a POLLUTING MEGACORPORATION. The forgery is intentionally bad enough that the GOVERNMENT will send AUDITORS to audit the POLLUTING MEGACORPORATION, but she’s covered her tracks well enough that there is no evidence leading back to her! Dakota has gained 15 EXP.
ORANGE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG continues digesting.
Dakota now has x1 FORGED TAX DOCUMENTATION.
Current paths are WEST and EAST.
Dakota strikes out west and seizes control of the western town of Emannwot. With the might of ORANGE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG by her side, her victory is swift and decisive. She claims the throne and becomes God-Queen Dakota, Long May She Reign, All Hail Her Glorious Name! Dakota has gained 5 EXP.
ORANGE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG has evolved into PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG. Dakota’s bond with PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG has grown stronger!
PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG continues digesting.
Dakota now has x1 QUEENLY ARMOUR, x1 QUEENLY CROWN, and x1 DOCUMENT OF OFFICIAL OWNERSHIP OF TOWN (EMANNWOT). She has also exchanged x1 SIGNIFICANTLY LESS SHARP CUTLASS for x1 SICKASS-LOOKING AND BY NOW PRETTY DULL CUTLASS.
Current paths are NORTH into town, SOUTH to the foothills, and EAST back to the forest.
Using the skills acquired with the FORGED TAX DOCUMENTATION, God-Queen Dakota spends many long hours researching and studying the taxation laws of Emannwot. To her horror, she discovers that the vast majority of the town’s extremely corrupt revenue service is dedicated to taxing only the peasantry, with heavy bribes, lobbying, and vast legalistic tomfoolery causing the town’s POLLUTING MEGACORPORATION to usually pay no taxes at all! Armed with this new knowledge and a newly-enchanted STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING, Dakota blows up the corrupt office, and announces plans to fully rework the taxation system of the town in order to cut taxes for the peasantry and drastically raise taxation on the evil barons in charge of the POLLUTING MEGACORPORATION! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.
PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG continues digesting.
Dakota’s bond with TOWN OF EMANNWOT has grown stronger!
Dakota has a new enemy: THE RICH.
Dakota has exchanged x1 FORGED TAX DOCUMENTATION for x1 STAFF OF EXPLODERIZING. PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG has gained x1 RAD SUNGLASSES.
Current paths are NORTH to the demolition zone, WEST to the town, and SOUTHEAST back to the forest.
Walking back from her new taxation announcement, God-Queen Dakota finds an unfortunate situation developing: a HUMBLE WORKMAN is being held at gunpoint by a RUDE TUATARA!
PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are NORTHEAST to the demolition zone and SOUTHEAST back to the forest. Current combat targets are HUMBLE WORKMAN and RUDE TUATARA.
God-Queen Dakota offers the RUDE TUATARA a DOCUMENT OF AMNESTY FOR PREVIOUSLY-COMMITTED TUATARA CRIMES, officially pardoning him in order to allow for a second chance at life. RUDE TUATARA has evolved into FORGIVEN TUATARA. Dakota also offers the HUMBLE WORKMAN a shiny thing.
PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG continues digesting.
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the FORGIVEN TUATARA and HUMBLE WORKMAN. She now has x2 CREATURE COMPANION and x1 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 10 EXP.
Dakota has a new enemy: THE TUATARA CRIME SYNDICATE.
Dakota has lost x1 QUEENLY CROWN. HUMBLE WORKMAN has gained x1 QUEENLY CROWN. FORGIVEN TUATARA has gained x1 DOCUMENT OF AMNESTY FOR PREVIOUSLY-COMMITTED TUATARA CRIMES.
Current paths are NORTHEAST to the demolition zone and SOUTHEAST back to the forest.
Returning to the forest with her party, God-Queen Dakota discovers that HUMBLE WORKMAN has a selection of CARPENTER’S TOOLS that he can use to chop down trees! Dakota’s SICKASS-LOOKING AND BY NOW PRETTY DULL CUTLASS remains intact.
HUMBLE WORKMAN has gained x1 LARGE HARDWOOD LOG.
HUMBLE WORKMAN has leveled up into HUMBLE WOODSMAN.
PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG finishes digesting! PRINCE SLIME ft. HALF-EATEN LOG evolves into PRINCE SLIME and gains +1 SLIME OOZE.
HUMBLE WOODSMAN feeds x1 LARGE HARDWOOD LOG to PRINCE SLIME. PRINCE SLIME has evolved from PRINCE SLIME to PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG.
Dakota’s bond with PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG has grown stronger! Dakota has gained 10 EXP.
Current paths are WEST to Emannwot and EAST.
God-Queen Dakota has successfully founded UNLIT NORTHERN MINE. Dakota has gained 10 EXP.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH and ????.
God-Queen Dakota equips the NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES provided by the FORGIVEN TUATARA. She briefly considers asking the FORGIVEN TUATARA where it got NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES from, but she can tell that the FORGIVEN TUATARA does not want to talk about it, so she lets the topic drop. Dakota’s bond with FORGIVEN TUATARA has grown stronger!
God-Queen Dakota has gained a status effect: NIGHT VISION.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST, and WEST.
Oh, look! A COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT! God-Queen Dakota is happy to see such a normal and friendly person, odd as such an encounter may be in an UNLIT NORTHERN MINE like this one.
Dakota extends an offer of friendship to the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT. The COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT invites the party to her home for dinner, where they can talk about such things in safety. It’s dangerous to just hang about chatting in an UNLIT NORTHERN MINE!
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT.
God-Queen Dakota uses move: “RIZZ UP” on COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT. Dakota has a +27 modifier to hit (and advantage on all targets shorter than her) with move: “RIZZ UP” and all other “RIZZ”-type moves.
COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT reveals attribute: [ARROW ACE: Immune to all “RIZZ”-type moves].
RIZZ UP fails!
Dakota has a new status effect: REJECTED!
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT.
God-Queen Dakota sharpens her SICKASS-LOOKING AND BY NOW PRETTY DULL CUTLASS with the help of the HUMBLE WOODSMAN and his TOOL-SHARPENING TOOLS. Dakota has gained 2.5 EXP.
As she does this, she casually asks the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT what she was doing in the cave alone.
The COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT rapid-fires a series of hasty and mumbled justifications. Something about walking through the woods and wanting shelter from the rain or something. She clarifies that she is definitely for sure neither suspicious nor dangerous, and once again urges Dakota to accompany her to her home, so that they can discuss their burgeoning friendship over dinner. She seems really hung up on this dinner thing.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Dakota has exchanged x1 SICKASS-LOOKING AND BY NOW PRETTY DULL CUTLASS for x1 FRESHLY-HONED CUTLASS.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT.
God-Queen Dakota looks around and sees that FORGIVEN TUATARA has gone missing! She and her companions start calling FORGIVEN TUATARA’s name, their voices reverberating throughout the cave system.
The COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT whistles innocently.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT.
God-Queen Dakota uses move: “MONSTERSAYSWHAT” on COMPLETELY NORMAL CAVE INHABITANT.
Move: “MONSTERSAYSWHAT” hits!
Critical hit!
SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY’s move: “DISGUISE” fails!
Dakota has gained 1.25 EXP.
DAKOTA has a new status effect: INTIMIDATED!
HUMBLE WOODSMAN has a new status effect: INTIMIDATED!
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG has a new status effect: INTIMIDATED!
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY.
God-Queen Dakota’s attribute: ARACHNOPHOBIA activates! Dakota’s status effect: INTIMIDATED is strengthened!
Dakota uses move: “PAPER”.
SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY uses move: “ROCK”.
Dakota defeats SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY in rock-paper-scissors! Dakota has gained 0.625 EXP.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
Current paths are SOUTH back to the forest, EAST to the SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY’s home, and WEST. Current combat targets are SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY.
God-Queen Dakota and SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY go to group therapy together and explore their emotions and experiences, developing a deeper and more profound understanding of themselves and each other.
PRINCE SLIME ft. ANOTHER LOG continues digesting.
HUMBLE WOODSMAN has leveled up into HUMBLE WOODSMAN PHD.
Dakota has lost attribute: ARACHNOPHOBIA!
Dakota has gained attribute: CONTROLLED ARACHNOPHOBIA!
SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY has lost attribute: GRUDGE AGAINST EMOTIONALLY DISTANT MOTHER!
Congratulations! Dakota has now befriended the SPIDER-HUMAN-THINGY. She now has x2 CREATURE COMPANION and x2 HUMANOID PARTY MEMBER and has gained 0.3125 EXP.
Current paths are WEST back to the mine and EAST to the flower valley.
Episodes 1-19